If only it were this easy!

Fat smackdown, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

Looking at my food log, which admittedly has a couple of "lost" days on it, I have not been putting the smackdown on fat as much as I could or should. I'm still allowing myself to award dispensations based on stress or special occasions, though to my credit, I do think I'm eating somewhat smaller portions.

I'll have to go back at some point in the near future to get more pics of this exhibit, but I was really tickled by these "whack a mole" machines at our local science center. Geoff played this one and thought it was a little silly, but I could imagine working out a few ice cream cravings by taking a whack at this machine. For example, I forgot to log that big serving of ice cream from the other night. Drat! Clearly, I need one of these for home.

On the baby-making front, I finished my five days of Clomid and went in for an 11th day ultrasound. I do have a candidate follicle that looks promising, but it's not quite large enough for me to be given a shot to instigate ovulation. I have to go back on Thursday. I know that eating, sleeping and exercising better will help make this process a success, so I am letting that be my motivation for today.

Here goes hoping

Here goes hoping, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

This morning Geoffrey drove me to the Ob/Gyn's office for another ultrasound and blood draw (ick!). I've been given the go-ahead to start a round of Clomid, which will last five days, followed by another ultrasound, and if all goes well, a shot (ick) to stimulate egg release and hopefully, ultimately, conception.

All of this while I begin an intensive eight-week spring class from May - June, Monday through Wednesday, with New Student Orientation beginning in June. And did I mention that I have an all-day conference in East Lansing tomorrow before rushing back to Detroit for class? I have clearly lost my mind. Perhaps it's hanging out with my truant eggs.

Well, at least I'll be too busy to be bogged down by the potential side effects of Clomid, which thankfully are not experienced by the majority of women who take the drug, but they don't sound like fun. Essentially, it sounds like a really baaaaaaaaad bout of PMS:
*Stomach upset
*bloating
*abdominal/pelvic fullness
*flushing ("hot flashes")
*breast tenderness
*headache
*dizziness
Source: Web MD

Wheeee! About.com has an excellent write up by Rachel Gurevich, who notes that many of the women she spoke to also experience mood swings:

Mood swings are another side effect of Clomid that in clinical studies didn’t appear as often as I’d imagine (less than 1% of women). But that’s difficult to believe, given how many women have told me the mood swings were the worst side effect of taking Clomid. Mood swings may mean feeling more emotionally sensitive, tearful, or even depressed or anxious, though infertility itself can bring on these feelings without drugs. It helps to be forgiving and gentle with yourself, and to practice good self-care, during treatment cycles.

So, we're in for a bumpy ride, possibly, but if this might be a relatively painless (ick, and double ick, as noted above) way for us to start a family, it's not a bad start. Here's hoping!

Capturing calm

IMG_1840, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

I haven't had a chance to post lately, but I have been taking photos, so I wanted to share one of the ones I was really pleased with. I love photos because they can capture a moment, a mood, or a view of how we wish life really is. This picture to me is vibrant, soothing, and calm.

Which right now, despite the relative lack of traffic in my office, I have a long laundry list of things to do that make life anything but calm.

It's time like this that my dubious powers of rationalization lead me to eat that one extra serving, or to crave things that I know will show up on the scale the next day. I say that it's because I'm under stress, knowing full well that if I am truly under stress, my body will be on full-alert mode to hold on to every extra ounce in order to survive whatever ordeal I am supposedly preparing for. Batten down the hatches! Every fat cell for itself!

I need to teach my body to crave healthy things and to hit the treadmill or go for a walk when I'm bored or fidgety. I also need to get a bit more organized so that I'm not drowning in a sea of paper and projects. I keep waiting for a good time to do it all in one lump sum, but that never really happens.

So, much like I took some time out to take advantage of a sunny window and a free bunch of sunflowers, I will try to take advantage of smaller moments to sort little piles, rather than letting them pile up. And I will take advantage of small moments to gain a sense of calm, rather than letting everything build up into a morass of frustration and inertia.

I will be calm. I will get organized. I will not let the munchies get me!

Keeping track

Keeping track, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

I meant to update sooner, but things have been super busy between work, classes (one more week, yay!) and just general laziness. I have though, still been keeping up with my morning weigh-ins and food logging. I slipped a bit at Easter, and today, which included a consult with my Ob/Gyn and a preview of the hard work to come, lunch at a groovy diner with my friend, Patti, as well as a banquet with the most amazing food, sigh.

I bought this notebook from Michael's when I was out with my friend, Sonia. It turns out to be the perfect amount of room to contain a day's menu, I know I've gone too far if I have to start writing sideways in the margin or consider not skipping a line between each mealtime. I am also using the log to track the amount of sleep I'm getting each night and how much medication I am taking.

So far, I have found that days where I can list simple meals are usually also the days where I lose the most weight the next day and I feel better. Common sense, right? Sure, but it really hits home when I can see it on paper and see it on the scale, and feel it within my body. A day where I go up by two or three pounds usually means that I can look and see that, yup, I didn't drink enough water and/or ate stuff I know I shouldn't (or at least not as much of).

I am also finding that I do start to feel full three or four bites before I'm done, but i push on anyway to finish my meal. I think there are a few reasons for this:

1) I've bought into the hype, as I suspect we all have, to blame our parents for making us clean our plates (though I honestly don't remember ever really having to be told to do this)

2) I tend to save the best bite for the last bite. I know, it's odd - but I'll save that last crispy crust for the end, or I'll eat things on my plate while trying to decide which flavor I want to have in my mouth last (will it be a meaty taste, or a starchy taste? It's very rarely ever a salad taste). If I stop early, then I'll miss out. Which really means, I need to start eating the best parts first!

3) I'm sometimes afraid that if I don't enough at dinner, I'll be hungry for a snack later. But that doesn't make a lot of sense, really. I mean, if I'm hungry, then I'll just snack on something healthy. It doesn't mean I need to feel full to the gills every time I eat. And, if I keep my meals small enough, sooner or later it won't take nearly as much for me to feel as full.

I could feel myself beginning to get a little lazy, so I thought blog post was in order. This weekend I'll work on taking pics of the books I want to review here, and I have a couple of 100 calorie snacks to review as well. I also have to start adding more exercise to my routine (an hour a day, yikes!) so I am sure that will come up here as well.

Be well!

Slimming down

Sew cute!, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

It's getting late and I am getting sleepy, but I wanted to post a quick note about how things are going. This morning it looks as though I've lost 10 pounds since I began taking the metformin. Yay, me! Tonight I had a bit of a heavier dinner out with my mom, but it felt good to see such a large difference between my starting weight and today.

I found this adorable tape measure at Target for $1, along with one shaped like a dinosaur and one shaped like an elephant. I guess kids must love the measure stuff, since it was in the party favors aisle.

I haven't measured myself yet, but my clothes seem a bit looser and Geoffrey commented on my slightly shrinking stomach. I like having these as a sort of talisman - it's a reminder that I only need to "measure up" to my standards, as long as I am healthy and able to do what I want to do.

I hope to post a couple of book reviews in the next couple of weeks - the end of the semester is fast approaching, and there's a lot to get done at work and here around the house. My system seems to have adjusted to the meds once again - tonight's dinner was prime rib from the Texas Roadhouse and that's a fairly fatty (and therefore DELICIOUS) cut of meat but so far, no major stomach rumblings.

Once side effect I do notice is that I am sleeping more soundly and that I fall asleep quickly, and that sounds very good right now. I hope you have a good week.

Mmmmm...sleep good

Warm and cozy bed, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

To begin bringing down my blood sugar levels, my doctor prescribed metformin, also known as Glucophage. Apparently, one of the most common causes of PCOS is high levels of insulin reducing the amount of estrogen and progesterone in the system and prohibiting ovulation. Also, half of the women diagnosed with PCOS are overweight. One of the benefits of metformin is that women who take it often lose weight, which has been my experience so far (mostly water weight, but at least its moving!)

I started my first dose almost two weeks ago and had sufficiently recovered enough to up my dose a few days early so I could adjust over the weekend. Common side effects include nausea, diarrhea and upset stomach, which is really not something I want to have to deal with when I have appointments every half hour on the half hour.

The funny thing about lists of side effects is that is very easy to become a hypochondriac and identify with every symptom. On the other hand, I don't want to discount a reaction if it means something is seriously wrong. I know I'm on a serious medication, so I am trying to be observant. For now, none of my symptoms have lasted longer than a few days or been uncomfortable to the point of being unbearable, so I am pushing onward.

My first week, I had some stomach rumblings and I was in the bathroom pretty soon after taking the pill, but nothing terribly awful. There was a day that week (roughly two or three days later) I stayed home to work on e-mail and slept almost the entire day. Clearly, I will need to plan for a day like that each time I up the dosage (ultimately, I'm supposed to take four doses a day).

I moved up to two doses last week Friday and wound up straining something in my right shoulder blade area. I was working on getting through a lot of e-mail and didn't move from my desk for a long time. It felt like a nerve pinch and I'm still a bit tender, though now it's moved to the front of my rib cage. And of course, since it's now two to three days since I began the increased dose, I'm feeling pretty sleepy (or at least sleepy enough that whenever I lay down, I fall asleep).

To make matters worse, there was quite a bit of snow around here yesterday, so my sinuses are also draining, which makes me sleepy as well.

Why the concern about sleep and shoulder strain? I have to make sure I'm not exhibiting Lactic Acidosis, a very rare reaction that occurs in about 1 out of 33,000 people taking metformin.

Symptoms include:
• feeling very weak, tired, or uncomfortable
• unusual muscle pain
• trouble breathing
• unusual or unexpected stomach discomfort
• feeling cold
• feeling dizzy or lightheaded
• suddenly developing a slow or irregular heartbeat
source: Diabetes Monitor.com

It will be interesting to see what happens when I increase to three pills two weeks from now. I want to be able to stick with this medication, especially since it seems to be working, but I promise that if this pain persists, I'll contact my doctor.

Caffeine and Blood Sugar

Dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

I wouldn't say I've done a ton of research about losing weight, but one of the more recent news items I've come across regarding insulin and blood sugar is the connection between caffeine intake and blood sugar.

For the past two weeks, I've cut back on my caffeine - drinking caffeine-free Diet Pepsi, mixing half sugar-free caffeine-free International Foods Café Mocha with half coffee for my daily cup at work, and only having one cup of coffee on the weekends at home. I'm not actually tracking my blood sugar at this point, but I figured every bit helps, right?

In thinking about this blog, I've been meaning to post this once I had a chance to find a reputable summary. So, on researching it this morning, I've found this happy (for me, at least) news:

From Mayo Clinic.com

Question
Does caffeine affect blood sugar?

Answer
Short-term studies indicate that caffeine impairs insulin action but not necessarily blood sugar (glucose) levels in young, healthy adults.

However, in individuals with type 2 diabetes, the impact of caffeine on insulin action may be associated with a small but detectable rise in blood sugar levels, particularly after meals. The amount of caffeine noted to have caused this effect was about 500 milligrams (or the equivalent of five cups of plain, brewed coffee) a day.

For individuals with type 2 diabetes who are struggling to control their blood sugar levels, limiting your caffeine intake may provide a benefit.



Even on a regular basis, it is very rare for me to drink more than two cups of coffee a day, so this is a bit of a relief. I love coffee (it would be my profession if it were more lucrative than higher education, to be perfectly honest). I thankfully don't have withdrawal symptoms if I don't have coffee, but I am one of those seeming few who actually LIKE the taste of the stuff (Geoff likes it more, he takes his black - I rarely drink mine straight).

Granted, I will probably still continue with my usual routine because it helps me cut down on the amount of cream and sugar I use with my coffee. I like diet soda just fine, but I find that sugar substitutes are just too sweet in anything else.