Monday, May 18, 2009

If only it were this easy!


Fat smackdown, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

Looking at my food log, which admittedly has a couple of "lost" days on it, I have not been putting the smackdown on fat as much as I could or should. I'm still allowing myself to award dispensations based on stress or special occasions, though to my credit, I do think I'm eating somewhat smaller portions.

I'll have to go back at some point in the near future to get more pics of this exhibit, but I was really tickled by these "whack a mole" machines at our local science center. Geoff played this one and thought it was a little silly, but I could imagine working out a few ice cream cravings by taking a whack at this machine. For example, I forgot to log that big serving of ice cream from the other night. Drat! Clearly, I need one of these for home.

On the baby-making front, I finished my five days of Clomid and went in for an 11th day ultrasound. I do have a candidate follicle that looks promising, but it's not quite large enough for me to be given a shot to instigate ovulation. I have to go back on Thursday. I know that eating, sleeping and exercising better will help make this process a success, so I am letting that be my motivation for today.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Here goes hoping


Here goes hoping, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

This morning Geoffrey drove me to the Ob/Gyn's office for another ultrasound and blood draw (ick!). I've been given the go-ahead to start a round of Clomid, which will last five days, followed by another ultrasound, and if all goes well, a shot (ick) to stimulate egg release and hopefully, ultimately, conception.

All of this while I begin an intensive eight-week spring class from May - June, Monday through Wednesday, with New Student Orientation beginning in June. And did I mention that I have an all-day conference in East Lansing tomorrow before rushing back to Detroit for class? I have clearly lost my mind. Perhaps it's hanging out with my truant eggs.

Well, at least I'll be too busy to be bogged down by the potential side effects of Clomid, which thankfully are not experienced by the majority of women who take the drug, but they don't sound like fun. Essentially, it sounds like a really baaaaaaaaad bout of PMS:
*Stomach upset
*bloating
*abdominal/pelvic fullness
*flushing ("hot flashes")
*breast tenderness
*headache
*dizziness
Source: Web MD

Wheeee! About.com has an excellent write up by Rachel Gurevich, who notes that many of the women she spoke to also experience mood swings:

Mood swings are another side effect of Clomid that in clinical studies didn’t appear as often as I’d imagine (less than 1% of women). But that’s difficult to believe, given how many women have told me the mood swings were the worst side effect of taking Clomid. Mood swings may mean feeling more emotionally sensitive, tearful, or even depressed or anxious, though infertility itself can bring on these feelings without drugs. It helps to be forgiving and gentle with yourself, and to practice good self-care, during treatment cycles.

So, we're in for a bumpy ride, possibly, but if this might be a relatively painless (ick, and double ick, as noted above) way for us to start a family, it's not a bad start. Here's hoping!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Capturing calm


IMG_1840, originally uploaded by Kodamakitty.

I haven't had a chance to post lately, but I have been taking photos, so I wanted to share one of the ones I was really pleased with. I love photos because they can capture a moment, a mood, or a view of how we wish life really is. This picture to me is vibrant, soothing, and calm.

Which right now, despite the relative lack of traffic in my office, I have a long laundry list of things to do that make life anything but calm.

It's time like this that my dubious powers of rationalization lead me to eat that one extra serving, or to crave things that I know will show up on the scale the next day. I say that it's because I'm under stress, knowing full well that if I am truly under stress, my body will be on full-alert mode to hold on to every extra ounce in order to survive whatever ordeal I am supposedly preparing for. Batten down the hatches! Every fat cell for itself!

I need to teach my body to crave healthy things and to hit the treadmill or go for a walk when I'm bored or fidgety. I also need to get a bit more organized so that I'm not drowning in a sea of paper and projects. I keep waiting for a good time to do it all in one lump sum, but that never really happens.

So, much like I took some time out to take advantage of a sunny window and a free bunch of sunflowers, I will try to take advantage of smaller moments to sort little piles, rather than letting them pile up. And I will take advantage of small moments to gain a sense of calm, rather than letting everything build up into a morass of frustration and inertia.

I will be calm. I will get organized. I will not let the munchies get me!